BJ Chursinoff: Grace, Truth & Walking With Someone Through Gender Detransition

A few episodes ago, you heard Kyla's story — how she left life as Brycen and found her way back to Christ's design for her life, told in her own book.

This week, you hear the other side of that story.

BJ Chursinoff is the pastor of Gospel City Church in Port Coquitlam. Alongside his wife Jess, he was there from the beginning — from the night Jess walked across a room at a Saturday-night recovery service to introduce herself to Bryson, through years of prayer, conversation, and eventually an invitation to move into their home.

A few things that stood out to me from this conversation:

Everyone is broken — some of us just hide it better. BJ talks about why recovery ministry produces a kind of honesty churches often lack. In recovery, you can't hide your struggle. Everywhere else, we've gotten good at "foyer talk" — I'm good, I'm good, I'm always good.

"We love you even more." When Kyla finally told BJ and Jess her story, that's what they said back. BJ unpacks why: the more someone trusts you with the tender parts of their life, the more of them you actually have to love.

Grace and truth were never in tension. BJ pushes back on the idea that pastoring people through gender dysphoria means choosing between love and conviction. "Truth without grace is just a loveless experience of bibliolatry. Grace without truth isn't grace — it's fear of man." He explains how he and Jess held both, without wavering, for years.

The cost of the invitation. When Kyla decided to detransition, BJ and Jess offered her a room in their home. It wasn't a small ask — space was already tight. BJ walks through why they believed the cost was worth it.

This conversation is honest, tender, and doesn't offer easy answers. If you're walking alongside someone in the middle of a story like Kyla's, BJ's counsel near the end is worth the whole episode on its own.

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BJ Chursinoff is the pastor of Gospel City Church in Port Coquitlam, where he has served in ministry for over a decade. He is passionate about the clear and faithful teaching of God’s Word and longs to see people transformed by the grace of God. BJ loves Jesus, His Church, His Word, and the lost, and is committed to helping others grow in a deeper, more authentic walk with Christ. He is married to his wife Jessica, and together they have a daughter, Sydney.

To learn more about BJ Chursinoff some of the resources referenced in this conversation please visit: